[shaving cream and italicized voices]

We were given the space to reflect on the first month of school. We got to share some of our favorite moments from this past month while also share what we do for ourselves to recharge and balance.

It was great to be back in a communal space to have a shared experience and also share our experiences of what we’ve seen that defines for us the joy of teaching. I felt this very viscerally when one of the teachers communicated how there is so much joy in teaching elementary school every single day.

I took a moment to think about this.

Joy, every single day, at school?

I realized that in the past month in teaching kindergarten, I’ve smiled more than the first month of school last year. When I try to think of one moment that has warmed my heart from this past month, or one of my favorite children, I’t s virutually impossible because each child has his or her own moment every single day. And I am constanly smiling – partly because I have to when teaching kindergartenrs, but also just because there is so much to smile about. Now, this isn’t to say that I didn’t smile last year. I smiled last year as well. But the stressors were more pronounced and overwhelming in the first month last year than it was this year.

I don’t think this means that I’ve suddenly decided to become an elementary school teacher. I still feel that my calling is with older kids. That said, kindergarten is very joyous. And I didn’t think it wouldn’t be. I’ve always said that I was excited for Kindergarten. It was my friends who cringed and gawked at the idea.

I walked into class on Friday to find all of my student sitting around three tables covered in white foam. They saw me and yelled out “Shaving cream!” MT had given them shaving cream to play with at their table while they practiced writing their letters (so that the negative space would be the numbers). It was BRILLIANT. and such a FUN way to practice such an otherwise mundane academic task.

On a more serious note (maybe) – I’ve started my grad school applications. I’ve also even signed up to take the GRE… AGAIN. Shoot me now… I have never been a standardized test taker. Every report card comment from any teacher that has ever given multiple choice tests has, at one point, said something along the lines of “She’s a great writer, but really struggles with multiple choice questions.” I definitely did not get into college because of my scores.

So I was faced with a dilemma that I have been turning over and over in my head for the past week or so – whether to take the GRE again or not. Here’s how the conversations in my head generally went:

I suck at standardized tests and it doesn’t show my true abilities
But the GRE is new this year, so your scores might be different.
But it doesn’t represent who I am. And my whole point in becoming an educator is to adress such issues as standardized tests as a measure for ones ability. So taking it again will just reinforce that.
But what if your not-so-great scores end up reflecting negatively on your application.
But it goes against everything I believe in.
But I think you have to play the game.
But it costs $100+!
But you’re taking it to get you where you want to go to be where you want to be doing what you love.
GAH
GAH

So ultimately I decided to take it because that italicized voice wouldn’t stop nagging me, and I figure if I take it again and my scores don’t change, then that’s that. But at least I can say I’ve tried everything in my applications to make me a good candidate while still staying somewhat true to my beliefs about standardized tests (in the sense that, I’m taking it in November so I only have a month to “prepare”).

Mmmm… Right?

Hey, idealists make good teachers, okay?

Just an update on The OC:

Jeremy and Anna are still going strong. And it seems like Sabrina is still interested in Jeremy. There is, however, a new character (well a few new ones, but one more worth mentioning right now) – Adam. If Jeremy is the quarterback, Adam is the lovable Center. He is built the biggest out of all the kids and is the goofy, nice guy next to the super star. It seems that Sabrina may also have feelings for Adam. Unfortunately, since boys/men are like this regardless of their age, Adam and Jeremy are oblivious to Sabrina, and her innate social awkwardness causes more pain and conflict between involved parties rather than kinder harmony. But wait, was Anna spotted handing Matt, the running back, a bejeweled letter the other day? Until next time – xoxo, Gossip Girl.

Yes, I’m aware that I switched TV shows in the middle. But honestly, I could also include Dawson’s Creek (omg, none of my students from last year or this year know Dawson’s Creek. Is it on Nick at Nite yet?!) and I’ll still be communicating the main idea.

With that said, I’m still disappointed that I don’t feel like I’ve really had a good reflection posted yet. That said, I’m quite sleepy and must get prepared for the next week. Until then.

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